原谅的心路历程：4步走

1. [Truthfully ] Telling the story : what happens? Bare facts first. 力求客观准确地描述到底发生了什么事？需要多次反复地对不同人说，从最亲密的人开始，到可以公开跟任何人说。允许每个人从自己的视角去叙说到底发生了什么事。不但嘴巴说，拿起笔来写，更加能够帮助自己回忆事件的细节。in this step, it’s more about getting the technical details of who, when, where and what has done to us. 【Forgiveness process: 1. Tell the story: What happens? 到底发生什么事？ Get the bare facts right first. 】

2. Naming the hurts: how you feel? Raw feelings second. 内心深处的恐惧、悲哀、痛楚，一一地认出来，叫出它们的名字来！允许每个人说出自己内心所遭受的伤害。giving the emotion a name is the way we come to understand how what happened affected us. We are each hurt in our unique ways, and when we give voice to this pain, we begin to heal it.祥林嫂就是没有获得疗愈，才被困于负面情绪中，直到死去！take courage to face the truth of our feelings and the depth of our pains. It’s the only way to heal and move forward. “We can’t let go of emotions that we don’t own.”  (Father Michael Lapsley) 【2. Name the hurts: How you feel? 你还好吗？Call out the names of your raw emotions.】

3. Granting forgiveness: Are you really to forgive? 你愿意原谅（自己/对方）吗？Take actions to free yourself from the prisons of guilt and suffering.

4. Renewing or releasing relationships: Do you want to stay in relationships or you want to let go and end the relationships? 继续保持关系，还是结束关系？Make responsible decisions for yourself to become a better person who are confident to create a better world for oneself and others.